Motherhood Thus Far- What I’ve Learned
From a young age, there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to be a Mom. I have always loved children and cherish the strong relationship I have with my own mother. Seven months into motherhood, this has been by far the most challenging, yet rewarding job of my life. When I reflect back on how I envisioned motherhood to be, I wish I could tell myself some things I’ve since learned.
Do what works best for you- glean the information that helps you from Instagram or the books.
I’ve always been a planner and like to go into any new situation prepared. Prior to David’s arrival, I’d read several books and taken multiple online courses on everything from birth to introduction of solid foods. When things didn’t go as the books said, I found myself worrying I was building bad habits or causing long term problems. Contrary to what was advised, David just sleeps and feeds better when he feeds to sleep. And, the introduction of iron rich solids (such as meat) as first foods just didn’t go as well as I had always advised parents it would when I worked in pediatrics. Despite the recommendation to minimize “container use”, I sometimes need to put David in the swing, bouncer or stroller so I can have my hands free for a minute.
Breastfeeding is HARD and not always the best choice for Mom and baby.
On the first day of my dietetic internship, I was required to attend a full day workshop on the importance of breastfeeding. Although I have had more friends than not share their personal struggles with it, I was certain I was going to breastfeed. While things were fairly smooth the first couple months, we have since had a rocky road full of allergies, elimination diets for me (not fun at all), plugged milk ducts and tongue tie revisions. In fact, his feeding struggles have been all consuming and at times taken a toll on my own mental health. As a prior pediatric dietitian, I never envisioned that my child would fall off the growth chart, require a prescription only formula and develop an aversion to feeding. I am currently exclusively pumping, supplementing with amino acid based formula and slowly introducing foods back into my diet. On the bright side, I am hopeful that my personal experience can help others with food allergies or intolerances (look for more tips to come).
Every baby is different.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was quick to ask my friends about their favorite products or solicit advice on their experiences. Likewise, I have been quick to share my own advice with others. As time passes, I am continually reminded that every baby is unique- what one child loves may be disliked by another. If possible, I would use hand me downs to assess what your child likes best versus investing in multiples of a product that was advised by someone else. We’ve gone through three types of bottles, five types of pacifiers and hardly used some items that we had once deemed as “must haves.”
You need a break sometimes.
In the height of our feeding struggles, the last thing I wanted to do was hire a nanny, as I feared he/she might not be able to handle the intricacies of David’s feeding regime. When COVID19 hit, I had just started coming out of my “new Mom” isolation, only to find myself isolated for another 4 months. After some recent support from family, I’ve quickly learned the value of time to myself, stepping outside the confines of our house or exercising a different part of my brain. I return to David with greater presence and much happier, which is best for both of us.